Our time is a valuable commodity. Personally one of my biggest pet peeves is when I feel like my time is being wasted. That applies to every arena of my life. As a result, regardless of the situation, I find that this simple truth applies:
It seems like such a simple concept to acknowledge, and yet the truth of it is something so many of us glide by because of denial. Sometimes it’s because we’re lying to ourselves and making excuses about why we are not actively chasing dreams. Other times it’s us listening to excuses from other people about why they have pulled a disappearing act and haven’t been around/called/etc. But ultimately, this remains true: we make time for what’s important to us. And therefore the things we don’t make time for—they clearly don’t matter much to us.
Keeping cognizant of this has been like a source of accountability for me. Even as crazy as things seem to be, I always try to take time out to do the little things that definitely matter to me as it applies to my future and my goals. For example, if I can’t make it to the gym, you can bet I’m still meal planning and trying to eat clean. Goal-ise, I currently make time everyday to at least look for a job, apply to a job, or seek out networking and/or classes that can help take me to the next level with goals I have. You can’t say that you want something and then never make time to do even do the little things to achieve or maintain it. I would think that’s a no-brainer, but I know that even I have been a victim of making excuses despite knowing how those are tools of incompetence and equivalent to monuments of nothing.
Aside from goal-digging though, knowledge of this has also helped me know when it is time to let go of relationships with people or just fall WAY back when it comes to them. Once upon a time I believed the excuses or fell for the sob stories of friends of people trying to explain why they never called, came around, etc. Sad. These days though, I really just don’t have an interest in even entertaining someone who does not take that time and whose actions let me know they don’t care. I know I deserve better, and I therefore don’t want to even be around someone who makes me start questioning their absence. That being said, I get it when people are truly caught up in the hectic-ness that life can become . But with discernment you can usually tell the difference between people on those ends of the spectrum of care, either because of the relationship you have had with them or because when you do see them or talk to them you can feel the genuineness.
When it comes to men, I always like to say that grown men will do what they want to do. Trying to force someone to do or feel something is an effort in futility and a set-up for unhappiness. And going back to the quote at hand – a person’s actions speak louder than their words. In particular, when you have known someone for a certain length of time and can compare how their actions have changed, it becomes even easier to be clear on where you stand with them. But there’s a freedom in being able to acknowledge and accept that something has run its course and make your choice from there. Yeah it may hurt sometimes, especially if you had feelings involved. But after you let yourself feel those feelings, you suck it up and move on. You have to. At the end of the day, you dishonor yourself to do anything but walk away from any situation and/or person that does not value you. You deserve the best. We all do. So just like you spend time on what matters, you drop anyone or anything that doesn’t put you in that category. It is what it is.