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Sunday, March 9, 2014

Sometimes You Have to Walk Away

Staying with someone through bullshit and drama does not make you better or stronger. It does not show how much love you have to give. It does, however, show that you are willing to give more love to someone else than you are willing to give to yourself. Allowing disrespect at the sake of "being w/ someone else" reeks of lack of self love. Believe me, I know. I was in denial of that for a long time too, but now I can say I’ve been there, done that, got the receipts and a reminder teddy bear to show for it.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Blackness: It's More Than Just a Preference

 My mind seems to always work in reverse when it comes to conversations and events. Like Saturday night when I was following the outcome of the trial of Michael Dunn, the murderer of Jordan Davis – yet another young black, unarmed teenager killed in Florida – of course under the guise of the Stand Your Ground law, I was reminded of a conversation I had over Christmas about race. Blackness to be exact. I was just teaching about how superficial a construct race is on Tuesday. And yet…here in Black History Month, we are served with yet another example of how this social construct, impacts the lives – literally, of so many of us.

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Single Women Can Celebrate Valentine's Day Too


Attention world: It is possible to celebrate and enjoy Valentine’s Day as a single woman.

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

In Retrospect: 2013


There’s a certain freedom about being able to appreciate your life, flaws and all. It’s like the ultimate happiness when you look at your life, even if you don’t have the perfect job that you want or the relationship that you want, and still find joy.

Monday, October 14, 2013

Birthday Reflections

Today was my birthday. I've turned a pretty big age and on most surveys I'm now in a different age bracket. As I like to say, I'm officially "for real, for real" grown. For the first time though, I'm not looking at my birthday looking at what I have not done or comparing my life to some kind of standard I set years ago. Instead, after reading a weekly Monday Motivation  and a specific greeting from a college friend (as well as this horoscope below which really spoke to some things I've been thinking about these days), I feel good. In fact I have laughed, smiled, and felt good all day. Not because something out of the ordinary and crazy exciting happened. But... well actually it kinda did. Because today, at 35, I woke up and realized that I am finally becoming comfortable in my own skin and finding my own truth and none of the dumb stuff that I used to sweat matters. Not even a little bit. Not anymore.

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Not Exactly the Birthday Song

I have a bad habit of remembering things that I would do better to forget. In a world where people brag about not caring giving a f&*k about other people or other things, it's hard to ever say that convincingly when you have these memories and basic information that makes that a lie. I remember words. I remember first kisses. I remember stolen moments.  But I also remember hurts and tears. And important dates. Like birthdays.

Thursday, September 26, 2013

When Life Makes You Uncomfortable

I made a mistake.

This year I have been on a whirlwind of sorts in terms of good fortune. I’ve embraced and have been trying to live by the idea of speaking things into existence, acting out of faith, and generally trying to re-establish how I approach life. For the most part I would say that I have had a good year. I’ve met some great people. I’ve had some good times. But the best is that I’ve been at peace. Drama has been kept to a minimum and my calves are toned from learning to walk away from it more often than not.

But still, some old habits die hard. One in particular for me is that of trying to make all these plans and assert my will on situations instead of yielding to being open to the opportunities that God sets before me. To be transparent, instead of following that post-it on my mirror that says “Let go Let God”, I’ve been back to my old tricks of trying to wager with God to get my own plans going. As if that ever works.